Dando's 21st Birthday

As we all know the 21st birthday in the US is the first time one can "legally" consume alcohol. It is a rite of passage, and this story encompasses the quintessential journey of one's 21st birthday. Please enjoy.

Like most days I begin Monday morning by rolling out of bed and checking my email via my Apple iPhone.

I has just returned from a weekend of binge-drinking madness in Chico, CA for my best friend's Daniel (Dando) 21st birthday. For those of you not familiar with Chico, CA, Chico resides one of the country's top party school, Chico State. If you never been there, don’t worry because you’ll probably forget.

I received an email from my friend Kelly (aka K-Spill). K-Spill was interested in the activates that took place for Dando’s birthday the previous Friday and Saturday. Here is the email I sent her:

From: drewstark@yahoo.com
To: K-Spill

HGH (Hey Girl Hey)

So this is how Friday and Saturday went down.

Friday:
I meet up with Tiff and Derek (Dando's cousin and her boyfriend). We proceeded to Chico.

Me: What did you get Dando?
Tiff&Der: We got him a bottle of Don Julio tequila.
Me: Shit, I got him a bottle of Crown. Monday is going to suck.

1.5 hours into the trek up to Chico, we stop at Taco Bell in Sacramento, CA. Ironically two of our friends on the way up to Chico for Dando's 21s are there, Travis and BK.

Me: Guys what did you get Dando?
Travis&BK: Nothing, because they just got two (36) packs of beer.
Me: Monday is going to suck.

1.5 hours later we arrive in Chico.

Bro hugs and game plan time. Dando and Danny (Danny went to high school with us) are there, they are already a 4 on the Drunk Scale.

Back on track now. Dando reiterates the game plan. We will play BP (or Beer Pong) then go to Jess's (Dando's girlfriend) for a party then at 12AM we will go to the bars for his first "legal" drink.

I ask Danny what he got Dando.

Danny: A bottle of Crown.
Me: Monday will suck.

We play BP, make Dando take 3 shots of Don Julio. We proceed to Jess's. Find out Jess is not really throwing a party, because we are providing the beer. Which means we paid for everything, I love college girls. Play more BP, drink more beer. Frat Boys show up. Cool at first until we see them drinking our beer. We let it go.

Dando is nearing a 8. We run out of beer. Danny offers me one. Turns out Danny stole it from the Frat Boys for drinking our beer. Big Frat Boy gets angry. Danny wants to kick his ass, I try to mediate. Dando is outside in the rain. Dando catches wind of the altercation. Take shirt off to fight (idiot!). Hold back Dando. Diffuse the altercation. Its past 12AM, time to go to bars.

Order shots for Dando. Order Jack & Cokes for everyone else. 3 rounds. Dando is sitting at a table. For sure a 10 now. We make him drink more booze from a straw. Dando starts throws-up on the table. Derek is a smart. Puts an empty pitcher up to Dando's mouth. Dando fill pitcher. Time to leave.

We lose Danny. Danny calls me.

Me: Where the fuck are you?
Danny: I am in forest by a river?
Me: That's really specific, how about what street.
Danny: (very serious voice) Dude I just don't know.
Me: Take a cab.

Saturday:

We wake up. Dando is about 6 now, the rest of us are at 2. He woke up in his own puke. We drink 2 Crans and Crowns. Find out Danny was 2 miles away from the bar and Dando's house. Danny got a ride from Jess's Sober Roommate (Sober Roommate not enthused).

Derek buys an 18 pack. We all have 2 beers. We are about 4s now.

12:30PM: We go to another bar. Travis and BK leave. Only the five of us now, Dando, Tiff, Derek, Danny, and Me. We order food and pitchers of beer.

5:00PM: We leave the bar, 12 pitchers later.

5:30PM: Heading back to Dando's to change before dinner. Decide to have another drink at a different bar. Free shot for Dando, plus a round of Jagerbombs for him and everyone else. We are clearly 6s now.

6:30PM: Go to Tres Hombres for dinner. Table not ready, go to bar. Order 2.5 shot Margaritas. Meet Jess +2. Eat, drink two more rounds of Margaritas. Acquire multiple free shots of Tequila for Dando. Dando is at a 10.

8:00PM: Dando is drooling on himself. Make him drink water and Red Bull from a straw. Dando is getting a second wind, Dando is backed down to a 8 now. Proceed to a new bar.

9:00PM: Dando is getting a "talking-to" by a bouncer while we stand in line for the bar for already being too drunk. Bouncer is a pussy Dando is only a 8 right now jackass. Get into bar. I order a Makers on the rocks. Everyone else get's Jack & Cokes and Red Bull & Vodkas. Get Dando more free shots. Bartender is hot, I talk to bartender.

10:30PM: Dando and I order a Red Bull and Vodka. We are informed that Danny has been kicked out for yakking on the floor. Jess +2 decides to stay and party. We search for Danny. No luck.

11:30PM: We got to the bar a block away from Dando's (same one he puked at). We order another Red Bull and Vodka. Bouncer recognizes Dando from last night. Asked to leave. I finish his drink.

12:00AM: Danny manages to find us at a Taco's De (a poplar Mexican destination for the inebriated).

1:00AM: We finish eating. Lose Danny aging. We agree to let Danny find his way back. Sorry bro. Dando is a definite 10 right now. He slips on a storm drain. Takes me with him. I sprain me knee. We limp/crawl back to Dando's.

Next morning: Find out Danny got another ride from Sober Roommate (this time really pissed). Of course, that was after he got a ride by a cab to Sober Roommate’s house and tried to pay with a receipt because he was out of cash. Ironically he was 2 blocks to Jess's house and another block to Dando's. We say goodbye. Dando is glad he had a good birthday, but is in great physical pain. Happy Birthday Dando!!!

Shoot Clock from Saturday:
Dando: 38
The Rest of Us: 31

Guess what?

Monday sucks.